Shy? How to make conversation at a social event

You're supposed to attend an important social gathering in the next few days, and you'd rather do anything but go. Worse yet, you know you need to make a good impression on those who are there,
but you are shy.

First, think about whether you will be having to make small talk with strangers as you mingle, or whether you will be seated at a table and only having to talk to those next to you. If you make small talk as you mingle, this means you will need to choose people with whom to speak. However, if the conversation fizzles after a good try, you can move on to talk to someone else!

To start small talk while mingling, try to locate 1-2 people who are by themselves or with just one other person. Try to catch the eye of one of them, which is a way of indicating interest and non-verbally asking permission to talk with the person. If no-one looks at you, stand perpendicular and slightly away from the person to whom you want to speak. When he or she looks at you, start by saying hello, and asking him or her a question. For example, "I understand we both work for XYZ Corporation, or are in the ABC field. I'm (say your name) and I wanted to learn more about what you do for them!"

When the other person answers,  give full attention, and ask a question about his earlier response. "So you work for the LMN Division! That always sounded interesting to me. What do you like best about it?"

If you are seated at a table and need to converse with those on both sides of you, choose one of them and ask a question to get the other person talking. For example, "I understand you are Pat's uncle. He is a good friend of mine! Do you live in the same community, or are you from someplace else?"

When the other person comments, follow up with a question based on something he has said, and sound truly interested. If appropriate, put in a few small comments about yourself, but keep the main focus on the other person.

People usually enjoy talking about themselves, and when they find an interested listener, it can be a rare treat!

For more techniques on how to start, continue and gracefully end a conversation, get the tip-filled practical e-book:

"Small Talk:Connecting with Others"!