Small Talk: Keeping the Conversation Going

You're at your in-law's house, or the home of a friend of a friend. You want to be a great guest, but after 10 minutes, you have nothing to say. You'll be there for another 24 hours, so what can you do? The secret is to be a wonderful listener, and keep the host talking!

Here are 2.5 ways to keep talking - and maybe make a friendship stronger.

Ask your host about his hobbies. Decide you will learn 3 things about his hobby, whatever it is. (It might come in handy some day to know this information.) When your host stops talking, say "tell me more about ___",  or "that ___ sounds  fascinating!"  and nod appreciatively.

Ask follow-up questions. For example, "You said that you enjoy ___. How did you get into it/learn so much about it/find the time to do it?" You can also ask questions about the gear needed to do the hobby, or his favorite publications on this hobby. (This information may be useful if you buy him a gift later on.)

The .5 method is to use interjections liberally, complete with great eye contact and slightly leaning forward. Interjections are comments such as "mmm-hmm",  "wow, that's impressive!", "you don't say!" and "really?" With a great start to the conversation and a talkative host, this technique can keep a conversation going for a long time!

Business Speech Improvement offers more conversational tips for the conversationally-challenged  in the e-book Small Talk: Connecting with Others.

Job/school interviews and your communication skills

It's that time of year again, and many people are interviewing for jobs. New grads, experienced managers, and many others are hoping to find a great position - and they know their communication skills count. In fact, "excellent verbal communication skills needed" appears on many job descriptions. Most likely, you already know about having great eye contact and a firm handshake. The part that likely worries you is answering the questions. Start by searching online for lists of questions often asked of people in your industry, or going to your type of college or grad school program. Then try to answer the most common questions, and record yourself. For starters, answer these 5 questions: 1. Why do you want to work for our company/go to our school? (This is a trick question to make sure you know enough about the company or school to have an intelligent answer. Make sure that you have researched the company/program thoroughly.) 2. Why do you think you would be a great fit for this company/program? (Start by researching the program's or company's mission statement, and think of 1-2 examples of when you have done something similar.) 3. What are your strengths? (Think ahead of 3-4 specific strengths that would help this organization. Team-work and communication skills fit into any scenario.) 4. What are your weaknesses? (Choose minor weaknesses, and stress how you are working to improve them.) 5.Do you have any questions for us? (After studying the information about the company online, think of 2 intelligent questions. One quesiton might be to ask the company representative about they would describe their ideal candidate for the job or program. Do NOT ask about salary, pay grade, when you would be paid, or anything similar. Focus on how you can give to the company, not how much you will get!) At the end, if the company rep does not mention it, stress that you are very interested in the job and ask when you might expect to hear from the company. Set yourself apart from the rest and write a thank-you note! Interviewers receive these very rarely, and appreciate your effort. Business Speech Improvement provides intensive coaching in many aspects of verbal communication. Individual coaching on preparing for job interviews is available on request.

A vital question

When doing employment interviewing (on either side of the table), a vital question often goes unasked. The question is "Is there anything else I should know?" The corollary to this from the interviewer to the candidate is "Is there anything else you want to ask?" Many times, the interviewer(s)have prepared a set of thoughtful questions - but there may be other issues on the candidate's mind. The candidate may be hesitant to ask them because he assumes the interview is over. If the interview is an exit interview, a question to be asked might be, "Is there anything else the company should know about the reasons you are leaving?" Candidates who are resigning may have other issues on their minds that could prevent others from leaving as well. Sales meetings should also ask this question. The purchaser may have had poor experiences with a competitor, but be hesitant to say something. Perhaps there was poor service, problems with billing, a product that did not meet the company's needs, or some other issue. Taking a moment to get the issue expressed can lead to additional discussion that can benefit both sides. A coaching or delegating situation can also benefit from this question. Asking it makes the other party aware that there may be additional factors to be considered. So, your question of the day is "Is there anything else I should know?" Digging a little deeper can yield better results! What are your favorite questions asked by leaders and others to make people think a little deeper? Business Speech Improvement provides training in executive presence and communication skills for leadership development! Individual coaching and small group seminars are offered in this and other topics!