Dating online? 3 Communication Tips

If you are dating online, and the e-mails and texts stop flying after a few exchanges, consider these tips.

First, the communication exchange is like a (written) conversation. Go back over it, if possible, and think about what you missed. Did you, for example, comment on the other person's responses and ask frequent questions, like you would in a conversation? Or did you expect the other person to carry the weight of the conversation and "draw you out", continuing to ask you questions so you could talk about yourself? (This might feel like being interviewed, for some people.) If one person is doing all the work to continue the conversation, he or she may decide it's not worth it. On the other hand, if the other person is responding barely, maybe it is because of shyness or maybe its due to a lack of interest.

Second, did you ask the other person how he/she prefers to communicate initially, whether on the dating site, e-mail, chatting online or via telephone? People have definite preferences on this.

If the other person mentioned a situation or problem she was having, how did you react? While this is to some degree a generalization, often women who are expressing problems want a listener (of either sex) to empathize, while a male wants a listener to try to solve the problem, if he can.

If nothing else works, and you are still interested in this person, mention that the correspondence has dropped off and ask if  there is still interest on the other person's part in continuing it.

Business Speech Improvement provides training in verbal skills, including a valuable e-book called "Small Talk:Connecting with Others".  It covers starting, continuing and ending a conversation, and many of the tips in it could be used during the beginning stages of dating online.