Secrets of "the gift of blarney"

Have you ever watched someone who is good at small talk "work a room", and wished you too could start conversations with strangers? Have you  wondered what he or she knew that you didn't about how to start a conversation?

Small talk, or "the gift of blarney", is the ability to try to find something in common with the person to whom you are speaking.  The first skill is figuring out what you and the other person might have in common, such as a friend, an employer, a neighborhood, an industry, or a hobby.  Plan your questions to ask the person. Start with a comment and then a general question. For example, "This is a wonderful convention! What part of it have you liked the most?" For a neighborhood barbeque, be more direct.

"Hi, I'm new here. My name is Bob. What's your name?"

The second skill is finding the right person to approach. Ideally, it's someone who is standing alone (and possibly wishing he could disappear). Make eye contact with the person, and then approach him or her with your questions. Look very interested in the person. If he  backs off or leans or turns slightly away, it's a nonverbal sign that he is not interested in talking to you.

There are many other "secrets" to giving yourself the "gift of blarney"! Learn about how to continue a conversation and also how to plant pre-planned, innocuous-sounding questions in it to see if the person would be a good prospect for your business or group. Where should you wear your name-tag to help others most easily? Find out how to end the conversation graciously, too.

 

 All these and more are in the concise e-book, Small Talk: Connecting with Others .  Get this inexpensive e-book here! For those want individual coaching in social skills, from eye contact to conversations and much more, contact Business Speech Improvement! How could your life be different with this knowledge?

Small talk: a lot of blarney?

Blarney is a word that can mean flattery or nonsense, or in other words, flattery that is nonsense. A person who does this a lot is said to be "full of blarney". Small talk, on the other hand, is talking with a stranger in the hopes of either passing time or, more likely, making a connection between the two people. Flattery or nonsense are rarely involved. However, with St. Patrick's Day coming up, here are some tips on making small talk anyway. If you are in the midst of a conversation with a stranger and want to prolong it, a way to do this is to ask him or her to tell you more about the subject under discussion. If appropriate, ask a question, to show you are interested. If you want to leave the conversation, and only two of you are talking, give a reason so you have a stronger exit line. "It's been nice talking to you, but I need to go (to meet more people, to go out with my friend, etc)." If you want to connect with the person some other time, you could give him your business card, or simply write your e-mail or telephone number on a scrap of paper. "Small Talk:Connecting with Others" is a concise e-book that offers tips on starting, continuing and ending a conversation graciously. Small talk has big value; learn how to do it today!

Does your speech have the "gift of blarney"?

"Blarney" could be defined as a person who easily uses sophisticated speech that includes flattery. Such a person may be very persuasive, or at least is good at talking.

Do you feel shy or "tongue-tied" and wish you had this gift of speech? Here are three tips to help!

First, if you know the person, figure out what comments would be especially complimentary - her outfit, her work, even her diction. If you don't know the person, observe him or her and take an educated guess. Then say (or e-mail) a compliment related to that; it could even be a metaphor such as "Your eyes are the color of the bluest summer sky."

Second, in a party or conference where you would meet strangers, look for someone who is alone, make eye contact, and smile at him or her. If the other person smiles back, go over and talk, using a sentence and a question. "This is a great conference! Is it the first time you've come?"

If you are uneasy about talking to strangers because you don't know how to get out of a conversation, use a reason such as
"It's been nice to meet you, but I have to meet some other people now. Bye!" Then be sure to do exactly what you have said.

Small Talk:Connecting with Others is packed with valuable tips on making "the gift of blarney" easier to learn.
It and other e-books and coaching are offered by Business Speech Improvement.

Seeking the "Gift of Blarney"?

Over 40% of Americans report that they are shy, according to one study. Many more wish they could start conversations with strangers at conventions, parties and meetings.

"Small Talk:Connecting with Others" (www.BusinessSpeechImprovement.com) is a concise e-book that gives readers ways to do just that. It shares tips on finding someone to talk with, how to start, continue and end the conversation, body language do's and don't and more!

Develop the skill of talking with strangers if you choose...this e-book is a wonderful way to learn these new skills!

Business Speech Improvement provides intensive coaching and e-books on verbal communication skills. Information can be found at www.BusinessSpeechImprovement.com.