Secrets of "the gift of blarney"

Have you ever watched someone who is good at small talk "work a room", and wished you too could start conversations with strangers? Have you  wondered what he or she knew that you didn't about how to start a conversation?

Small talk, or "the gift of blarney", is the ability to try to find something in common with the person to whom you are speaking.  The first skill is figuring out what you and the other person might have in common, such as a friend, an employer, a neighborhood, an industry, or a hobby.  Plan your questions to ask the person. Start with a comment and then a general question. For example, "This is a wonderful convention! What part of it have you liked the most?" For a neighborhood barbeque, be more direct.

"Hi, I'm new here. My name is Bob. What's your name?"

The second skill is finding the right person to approach. Ideally, it's someone who is standing alone (and possibly wishing he could disappear). Make eye contact with the person, and then approach him or her with your questions. Look very interested in the person. If he  backs off or leans or turns slightly away, it's a nonverbal sign that he is not interested in talking to you.

There are many other "secrets" to giving yourself the "gift of blarney"! Learn about how to continue a conversation and also how to plant pre-planned, innocuous-sounding questions in it to see if the person would be a good prospect for your business or group. Where should you wear your name-tag to help others most easily? Find out how to end the conversation graciously, too.

 

 All these and more are in the concise e-book, Small Talk: Connecting with Others .  Get this inexpensive e-book here! For those want individual coaching in social skills, from eye contact to conversations and much more, contact Business Speech Improvement! How could your life be different with this knowledge?

Giving a Presentation? How to Improve Your Eye Contact

According to one survey, more adult Americans fear giving a speech more than dying. Some show their fear by their inability to make eye contact with their audiences during the presentation. They look down at their notes, or up at the ceiling, instead.

Poor eye contact in the American culture conveys a lack of openness, of connection. The audience looks at the speaker, and the speaker looks elsewhere. The audience wonders why, and the message loses value quickly.

The audience wants the speaker to succeed; who wants to sit through another awful speech? Practice your presentation enough so that you are not reading it. (Can you give it if the technology and lighting failed?) Try choosing a few friendly faces throughout the audience and looking briefly at each one. If that is too hard for you, look slightly above their eyes at the tops of their heads, and be sure to look around the room when doing this. While it is not quite as good as looking at their eyes, it is better than not looking at them at all. 

For more tips on public speaking, from writing to delivering powerful speeches, get the e-book "Public Speaking: You Can Do It!" by Business Speech Improvement.