It's holiday season! Are you dreading the holiday parties?

The holidays will be here soon! Are you excited - or are you dreading them?

Do you try hard to avoid holiday events, or if you go, wish you could melt through the floor?

A vital skill in enjoying and otherwise often benefiting from holiday parties is the ability to make "small talk", or start a conversation with strangers. Some people know how to do this instinctively, but many people have to learn the technique.

Start by coming up with 5 questions you can ask anyone at the event. What could you have in common with these people? For example, do you live in the same community, work in the same industry or company, or share some other common interest? Before the event, check the local media so you can talk intelligently about local events, and write the 5 questions. Memorize them.

At the event, find someone who is also alone, and try to catch his eye. Go over to him and ask your questions. Really listen to his answers, and follow up with more questions. If no questions spark a conversation, say good-bye and find someone else.

For more details about starting, continuing and graciously ending a conversation, get the concise e-book Small Talk:Connecting with Others! Learn the "secrets" of this vital skill. Let this be the holiday season when your small talk skills shine!

           

        

It's getting close to Valentine's Day, and in the US, many people go to parties then. The big question comes up: what do you say to a stranger at one of these parties, if you want to know the person better? Before you go to the party, think of 5 questions you could ask someone there. You already have something in common with each of them - you are at the same event. Maybe you work for the same company or industry, or know the same host. One example might be " Hi! I'm (your name). I work as a (job title). What do you do in the X industry?" Let's say you have just bravely walked in the door to a room full of strangers. You know no-one there. As soon as you put your coat somewhere, look around and search for someone who is standing along. (If it helps, you can pretend to be the host at the party; some people do better if they imagine themselves in a role.) Often this person will be next to one of the walls, but not always. Look at him or her, and smile. If the person smiles (even slightly) back, go over and say hello. Tell the person your name and ask for his or hers. Then make a comment about the event and ask one of your questions. For example, "This is a terrific party! How do you know (the host)?" Be sure to respond to the other person's comments, and occasionally tell something about yourself as well. For more information on how to start, continue and graciously end your conversation, click here for the e-book, "Small Talk:Connecting with Others"! Learn the secrets of body language and conversational strategies to start that conversation and keep it flowing!

Shy at parties? Three tips to help

Many people feel hesitant to walk up to a stranger and start a conversation. Many years ago, people would be introduced by mutual friends, who might stay long enough to make sure the conversation was going well. Now, people start talking with others often without any help.

Here are three tips to make this easier. First, consider the goal of the conversation. Are you trying to make a new friend, determine if someone is a good business prospect, or
find out delicately how a new hire feels about a potential "hot topic"?

Plan a series of 3 -5 questions around this goal. If you want to make a new friend, ask how the person feels about living so close to the sports arena or university, for example.

Then, if you want to consider staying in touch, ask for the person's card. After the person is out of sight, write something on the back so you will remember this person, and follow up with him the next day by e-mail.

Many more tips on making small talk, including how to start and gracefully end a conversation, can be found in the e-book "Small Talk: Connecting with Others" (www.BusinessSpeechImprovement.com).

What can you say on that first date?

It's almost time for all those Valentine's Day events, where many people mingle and look for that special someone. Or maybe you've already met someone and have invited him or her on a first date. What do you talk about with a stranger?

Small Talk: Connecting with Others (http://businessspeechimprovement.com/enabler/scripts/e_books.pl) is an e-book with some answers! Learn about questions that are perfect for a new date. (For that matter, they are also great for going to any kind of social or business event.) This down-loadable e-book has great questions to get you talking!