Small Talk: Keeping the Conversation Going

You're at your in-law's house, or the home of a friend of a friend. You want to be a great guest, but after 10 minutes, you have nothing to say. You'll be there for another 24 hours, so what can you do? The secret is to be a wonderful listener, and keep the host talking!

Here are 2.5 ways to keep talking - and maybe make a friendship stronger.

Ask your host about his hobbies. Decide you will learn 3 things about his hobby, whatever it is. (It might come in handy some day to know this information.) When your host stops talking, say "tell me more about ___",  or "that ___ sounds  fascinating!"  and nod appreciatively.

Ask follow-up questions. For example, "You said that you enjoy ___. How did you get into it/learn so much about it/find the time to do it?" You can also ask questions about the gear needed to do the hobby, or his favorite publications on this hobby. (This information may be useful if you buy him a gift later on.)

The .5 method is to use interjections liberally, complete with great eye contact and slightly leaning forward. Interjections are comments such as "mmm-hmm",  "wow, that's impressive!", "you don't say!" and "really?" With a great start to the conversation and a talkative host, this technique can keep a conversation going for a long time!

Business Speech Improvement offers more conversational tips for the conversationally-challenged  in the e-book Small Talk: Connecting with Others.

Responding to a Compliment

Some people have difficulty responding to a well-earned compliment. They may not like to accept praise, may not feel they earned it, or feel embarrassed by the compliment because they consider themselves humble. Nonetheless, a compliment is a verbal gift, an acknowledgement that someone has noticed and considers your action to be praise-worthy.  As such, the proper response is a simple, "Thank you!" 

If making small talk is also difficult for you, the e-book "Small Talk:Connecting with Others" explains small talk's big impact. It also gives you tips on starting, continuing and ending a conversation with others. Get this helpful e-book here.

Maintaining a Conversation: Don't Know What To Say?

Don't Know What To Say in a Conversation?

Have you ever been in a situation in which the other person is talking about something to which you don't agree (but you don't want to say anything), or you have no idea what he is talking about?

Sometimes a neutral answer is best. Great examples include, "What an idea!", "Oh my goodness", "Is that so?", or  even "I see".

"Small Talk: Connecting with Others" is a helpful e-book just packed with ideas on how to start, continue and graciously end conversations. It can be used for both business and personal conversations. To get it, click here.

Conversational dynamics: Using open-ended versus closed-ended questions

Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to control a conversation? Maybe you were in a hurry, the other person was very talkative, or you needed to encourage him to speak at greater length.

Open-ended questions are those which can have many possible correct answers. For example,

"How did you...", "What happened next?" or "What are the possible implications of ...?" Closed-ended questions can have only 1 or 2 possible answers, such as "What's his name?" or "Do you want to do that on Monday or Wednesday at 2 PM?"

Use open-ended questions to encourage people to talk. (To encourage them even more, wait a couple of seconds after they stop speaking, to see if they will say any more.)

Use closed-ended questions to control the flow, if you only need specific information, or if you are in a hurry. Closed-ended questions at the start of a conversation with someone who is reluctant to speak are also effective; change to open-ended questions when the person relaxes.

Communication strategies for leadership development are available in an e-book packed with valuable tips like this! Executive Communication Techniques  has sections on 18 different vital communication techniques today's leaders need to know and use. This powerful e-book and individual coaching are by Business Speech Improvement.

Easter and Passover, and communicative responsibility

It's almost time for Easter and Passover, two holy days for millions. If you will be gathering with family and friends for a special Easter dinner or Passover seder, are you able to start a conversation and make small talk with others there? Are you comfortable asking others questions and showing an interest in them, or do you expect them to do that so you can talk only about yourself? Communicative responsibility is taking responsibility for helping to keep the conversation going. Whether you are the host or the guest, you show an interest in others. You may start a conversation with someone who looks lost or is very shy, ask your host or hostess how you can help with the party, ask someone else a question about his family, work or hobbies, or simply ask someone else to tell you more about whatever she is discussing. Maybe starting a conversation with a stranger is hard for you. Before you go to the event, think of 5 questions you could ask him. For example, ask how he knows the host, or how long he has lived in the community. Do you need more tips? Small Talk: Connecting with Others is a concise e-book with many practical ways to start a conversation, keep it going, and end it graciously. You deserve to be more comfortable talking with others; this e-book is easy to read and gives tips that are easy to apply! Get it today! (Hurry, Passover and Easter are almost here!)

Small talk: a lot of blarney?

Blarney is a word that can mean flattery or nonsense, or in other words, flattery that is nonsense. A person who does this a lot is said to be "full of blarney". Small talk, on the other hand, is talking with a stranger in the hopes of either passing time or, more likely, making a connection between the two people. Flattery or nonsense are rarely involved. However, with St. Patrick's Day coming up, here are some tips on making small talk anyway. If you are in the midst of a conversation with a stranger and want to prolong it, a way to do this is to ask him or her to tell you more about the subject under discussion. If appropriate, ask a question, to show you are interested. If you want to leave the conversation, and only two of you are talking, give a reason so you have a stronger exit line. "It's been nice talking to you, but I need to go (to meet more people, to go out with my friend, etc)." If you want to connect with the person some other time, you could give him your business card, or simply write your e-mail or telephone number on a scrap of paper. "Small Talk:Connecting with Others" is a concise e-book that offers tips on starting, continuing and ending a conversation graciously. Small talk has big value; learn how to do it today!

It's getting close to Valentine's Day, and in the US, many people go to parties then. The big question comes up: what do you say to a stranger at one of these parties, if you want to know the person better? Before you go to the party, think of 5 questions you could ask someone there. You already have something in common with each of them - you are at the same event. Maybe you work for the same company or industry, or know the same host. One example might be " Hi! I'm (your name). I work as a (job title). What do you do in the X industry?" Let's say you have just bravely walked in the door to a room full of strangers. You know no-one there. As soon as you put your coat somewhere, look around and search for someone who is standing along. (If it helps, you can pretend to be the host at the party; some people do better if they imagine themselves in a role.) Often this person will be next to one of the walls, but not always. Look at him or her, and smile. If the person smiles (even slightly) back, go over and say hello. Tell the person your name and ask for his or hers. Then make a comment about the event and ask one of your questions. For example, "This is a terrific party! How do you know (the host)?" Be sure to respond to the other person's comments, and occasionally tell something about yourself as well. For more information on how to start, continue and graciously end your conversation, click here for the e-book, "Small Talk:Connecting with Others"! Learn the secrets of body language and conversational strategies to start that conversation and keep it flowing!

Missing the big picture?

After a business meeting today, three people left the room to talk. Two were there to talk business, while one was there to chat with the other two. Quite redundant, she could have given her message succinctly and left, which would have allowed her time to meet others, but she stayed. The other two waited patiently until she finished, talked to each other briefly about business and left. The chatterer missed the big picture, of two people really wanting to do business with each other. When three people get together for business, often two are there on an equal level, but one may be on a different level of the organizational structure. That one needs to be acutely aware of the situation, as to when in American culture it is useful to be involved and when to be quiet. When the three are strangers to each other, it can be harder to appropriately signal the chatterer. One way to do it is to say, "Thank you for your information, (name of chatterer).We appreciate your explaining that." Then, through slightly turning the body away from the chatterer, look at the other person with whom you want to talk, and ask, "As you were mentioning to me, (name of person)." Have you ever been in a situation like this? How did you handle it to turn your attention to the appropriate person to whom you really wanted to speak? As this can be a cultural issue, if you are not from the USA, please tell us your country! Business Speech Improvement offers an e-book on Small Talk:Connecting with Others.