Social Skills in the Workplace

A manager came up to me at an event , and told me he had a quandary.

He had a number of highly technically qualified employees who had contact with the public and also had poor social skills. He asked me if help was available.  The answer was a qualified "yes", if the employees knew they had a problem with this and if they truly wanted the help. The amount they would benefit would depend on these two factors,  their willingness to put the skills to work, and some support from an onsite mentor in addition to an outside coach.

What are some of the social skills we are talking about? They would include tone of voice, eye contact, greeting others, knowing how to start, continue, join and end a conversation, awareness of how to  talk with a customer, colleague and supervisor, how to phrase negative messages positively,  how to understand the company culture, and more.

For example, in your office, who makes the coffee, if there is any, and cleans the coffee maker? Does everyone take a turn bringing in baked goodies? Who helps out colleagues who need assistance, or volunteers for specific tasks?

Who is to attend various meetings, and who speaks at them? Who is a leader in your department, even though he or she may not have the title? (That person may have influence over decisions, and knowledge of people and processes.) How do you handle workplace conflicts fairly and appropriately? Should you call your supervisor by his first name, or more formally by his title and last name (eg, Mr. Smith, Dr. Jones)?

Social skills are related to emotional intelligence, or EI.  EI involves understanding your own and others' emotions, and acting on them appropriately.  Social skills involve being aware of how your actions impact your own and others' perceptions of you. Most social skills involve verbal or non-verbal communication.

What can be done to help people improve their social skills at work? The process starts with the supervisor and employee completing questionnaires to determine the areas of concern, and then individual coaching to address those areas.

Business Speech Improvement provides communication skills coaching to adults in the workforce.

It also offers an e-book, Small Talk:Connecting with Others, which is packed with specific techniques, for those whose primary concern is this particular skill.