Dating online? 3 Communication Tips

If you are dating online, and the e-mails and texts stop flying after a few exchanges, consider these tips.

First, the communication exchange is like a (written) conversation. Go back over it, if possible, and think about what you missed. Did you, for example, comment on the other person's responses and ask frequent questions, like you would in a conversation? Or did you expect the other person to carry the weight of the conversation and "draw you out", continuing to ask you questions so you could talk about yourself? (This might feel like being interviewed, for some people.) If one person is doing all the work to continue the conversation, he or she may decide it's not worth it. On the other hand, if the other person is responding barely, maybe it is because of shyness or maybe its due to a lack of interest.

Second, did you ask the other person how he/she prefers to communicate initially, whether on the dating site, e-mail, chatting online or via telephone? People have definite preferences on this.

If the other person mentioned a situation or problem she was having, how did you react? While this is to some degree a generalization, often women who are expressing problems want a listener (of either sex) to empathize, while a male wants a listener to try to solve the problem, if he can.

If nothing else works, and you are still interested in this person, mention that the correspondence has dropped off and ask if  there is still interest on the other person's part in continuing it.

Business Speech Improvement provides training in verbal skills, including a valuable e-book called "Small Talk:Connecting with Others".  It covers starting, continuing and ending a conversation, and many of the tips in it could be used during the beginning stages of dating online.

Body Language and Photos

Many people post professional and personal photos of themselves online. They want to seem inviting in a business or personal sense, but their bodies are telling others the opposite story.

The pose many people use is to fold their arms across their chests. This shows defensiveness to Americans, as if the person is not open to new ideas. Others put their hands in their pockets, as if they are hiding something. It is much better to have your hands at your sides. This implies openness to new invitations. If you must do something with your hands, have one hand hold something. If you already have a photo posted with a defensive posture, today is the day to make a more friendly one!
If your photo is for professional purposes, make it look professional. Wedding photos, photos of you with your significant other or cute child, or photos of you with your pet are not appropriate, unless of course you are in the wedding business, match-making business, are a school director or run a pet-related business.
If making small talk is also an issue, Small Talk:Connecting with Others is a concise e-book with numerous practical tips. Individual coaching is also available.

Business Speech Improvement provides intensive training in verbal skills, as well as body language. Individual coaching, small group open enrollment courses and valuable e-books are all available!